carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
