Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize