is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
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