So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
