I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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