we have officially lost it.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
please don't ironically join a cult
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