I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
