Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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