Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
