I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
