I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
