i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Randomize
