It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Randomize
