Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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