He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
