1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
