Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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