My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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