I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
50% drunk capacity currently
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Randomize
