I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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