he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
The power of my boobs compel you
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
