but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
