i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
