I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
