i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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