I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
