i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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