worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize