Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
