dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
