I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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