I puked a lego.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
