I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
