How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
