So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
