Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Randomize
