He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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