My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
