Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
