sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
