Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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