Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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