He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
