Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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