Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
