Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
