I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
