In the future we'll all be gay
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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