All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
