Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
