Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
