Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
