Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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