well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Never joke about your clitoris.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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