just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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