Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
YAS. BRING CRAB.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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