This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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