How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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