Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
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