Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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